Mothers- You are Amazing!

Mothers, when was the last time someone told you how incredible you are?

I see it every day, posts about how we are failing. My baby isn’t nursing, I had to supplement. My baby hasn’t learned to walk yet. How many words does your baby say? My four-year old can’t read! My eight year old won’t listen to me. My 10-year-old is refusing to do housework. I lost my temper today and I feel awful.

Help, what do I do, I feel like a failure.

You Are Not Failing!

Dear sweet mom, you are not failing. You are doing your best, and that is all your child expects from you. Just as every adult has their strengths and weaknesses, so does every child. My son, who turns 7 in a few weeks, struggles to read, but he can do multiplication problems in his head. My 8-year-old daughter is halfway through the Harry Potter series and an amazing artist. She struggles to do addition. They don’t struggle because I am a failure. They struggle because their brains work differently. It isn’t a competition, and I don’t need to be comparing them to each other or anyone else.

I’ll let you in on a little secret; very few people are actually judging you, and those who are don’t matter.

As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, member of the Quorum of the twelve Apostles in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints said:

The work of a mother is hard, too often unheralded work…Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones…Please know that it is worth it then, now, and forever.

One young mother wrote to me recently that…she worried because she felt she didn’t measure up or somehow wasn’t going to be equal to the task…But one thing, she said, keeps her going: “Through the thick and the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down inside I am doing God’s work. I know that in my motherhood I am in an eternal partnership with Him.”

Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are and better than you have ever been as you try to make honest effort, however feeble you may sometimes feel that to be…You are doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging.

*Read the full talk here

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership With God| SmithSquad.com | You are not a failure | Are We not all motehrs? | Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Mom’s please don’t be so hard on yourselves. The perfect mother doesn’t exist. No one can do it all, all the time, without any mistakes. Some of us may hide it better than others, but the truth of the matter is we’re all just making it up as we go! I am having baby number eight in a few weeks, and I still struggle with how to teach and discipline number seven. They’re all different, and each time I add another the rules change. My mom had six. She often doesn’t know what advice to give me when I call her in tears because I don’t’ know what to do with one of my children. “I never did figure that out.” She says.

Mom’s please love, respect, and forgive yourselves. You are amazing in every way. You stumble, you fall, you fail, but you get up and you keep going because what you are doing is the most important job in the world. It is an eternal partnership with God. He gave you his children and he will hold your hand and lead you as you attempt to do the best you can at raising them.

Are We Not all Mothers?

Are we not all mothers?| SmithSquad.com | You don't have to give birth to be a mother | Happy mother's Day to all the aunts, sisters, and friends who mother children in need

On this special weekend where we celebrate all mothers let us not forget the grandmothers, aunts, friends, and all women everywhere who love , support, and lift up our children. Motherhood does not have to begin with birth. All to often the best mothers in this life do not ever bear their own children. Motherhood is not about being pregnant and giving birth. Motherhood is that divine calling that we as women feel to love and nurture those around us. All too often children are left alone, unloved, misunderstood. To all those who step in to love and encourage them, thank you, you are their mothers and their heroes.

If you can’t celebrate your own mother then take the time to celebrate those women in your life who were there for you, who made a difference in your life. If you can’t celebrate your own genetic children then celebrate those little ones in your life whom you love so deeply. If this day is a day of pain or sadness for you then embrace it, let it in, let it carry you away. It is ok to mourn that which we did not have, or have not been given. Then pick up tomorrow and be the amazing woman who you are.

A few years ago I asked children “What is a Mother?” and created a video with their responses. I decided it was time to create a new version. I hope you enjoy the beautiful, and funny, responses from the mouths of babes.

What is a Mother?

I thought it would be fun to ask several of my friends to ask their children “what is a mother?” Here are a few of my favorite responses:

“you!” -said by many

“Someone that takes care of you” -age 6

“A role model” -age 12

“A loving and caring person” -age 10

“She is a person who loves you always (even before you were born) no matter how snotty you act.” -age 8

“Mothers love their children so when they grow up they can be strong. ” -age 4

“A mother is my mom who loves you, takes care of you, teaches you, who is nice, cleans, cooks, she loves me.” -age 10

“A mommy is someone who protects her children, and other ones too.” -age 6

“Someone who takes care of you and loves you” -age 7

“Someone who looks after you, takes care of you, who loves you. Deeply” -age 8

“A mother keeps me safe.” -age 8

“A mother is a person who keeps you safe in your darkest time. She gives you cuddles and she loves you no matter what, no matter what mistakes you do. A mother is the person i love the most.” -age 8

“She helps you when your toe is bloody” -age 3

“A mother loves you so much and she never breaks your heart. She gives you big kisses and big hugs. She teaches you to live happily and helps us.” -age 5

“A mother is a kind, loving lady who wants to take care of her children and make sure they have a good life and makes sure she never loses them.” -age 10

“Someone who takes care of her children and teaches them how to love one another.” -age 8

“Someone who loves and cares for their children. And it doesn’t even matter if it’s their own children or not.” -12

In all the responses I got only a few children said someone who had given birth/was pregnant. Let that sink in a minute. To these children all across the United States a mother is one thing. Love.

I have watched several of my friends and family deal with infertility, miscarriage, infant loss, or have simply not had the opportunity to marry and have children. These beautiful women are some of the most amazing mothers I know. I have watched my best friend snuggle my babies and I am completely serious when I say she is their second mommy. They adore her and I know her heart is full of love for them.

The world needs mothers. The world needs women who will nurture, lead, care for, and love the children around them. The title of Mother is the most noble one that we as women can embrace, and we don’t have to give birth to claim it.

I believe there is Nobility in Motherhood and I believe that the greatest success in life may be someone you raise, not something you do.

Do you believe it too? What do the children in your life say is a mother? I’d love to hear their answers in the comments!