Humble Pie- Nutritious and Delicious!

I have been learning a lot about myself lately. Sometimes that can be a rather painful process, but it also brings some pretty incredible blessings.

Last week my husband and I had a fight. To make a very long story rather short I felt unappreciated and ignored. Rather than speak up I pouted. He did one little thing, the straw that broke the camel’s back and I exploded. He was completely blindsided by my anger.

The next day I wrote him a very long email spelling out how screwed up he was. I did the typical girl thing of throwing in his face several things from the past that he has worked hard to overcome, but this one moment of imperfection had completely destroyed. He was heartbroken and told me he felt hopeless and didn’t even know how to respond to me. I, of course, was still upset and hadn’t had my needs met.

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That evening I went to a women’s group that I meet with. Something was said that pierced me to the soul. First I was reminded of something we had read the week prior which statedĀ that constantly hidingĀ our true feelings in deference to others is just as self centered as always demanding to get our way. It allows us to focus on ourselves and our hurts and play the victim while villainizing those around us. Then a woman spoke up about how she had learned to have compassion for her husband. As she was thinking through her past and identifying people she had hurt and needed to make amends with she was struck by the thought that her husband probably had many similar feelings towards her and others.

On the way home I had knots tying and untying in my stomach. I knew that I needed to eat a big old slice of humble pie and apologize to my husband. I had been selfish. I had not stopped to think about his feelings. I hadn’t communicated my needs to him then been angry at him for not meeting them.

I was not looking forward to the experience.

After everyone else was in bed I sat him down and I apologized for not recognizing his feelings. I apologized for not saying thank you to him enough for the amazing things he has done for me. I apologized for not communicating my needs to him and expecting him to meet them. We both cried. We were both healed. We were both free.

I learned a very important lesson. Real humble pie, the kind that is backed by sincere loving thought, is actually quite delicious. Real Christlike humility isn’t pain, it is power; it isn’t bondage, it is freedom.